Talking about abuse with the abuser…
Please remember that while abuse is never your fault and you are not to blame for domestic violence, it is probably not safe for you to discuss this with the person abusing your parent or abusing you. Challenging the abuser or trying to stop a fight can be very dangerous and you could get hurt. Read the information in the What can I do section of The Hideout for other suggestions on how to be safe. It is not your responsibility to stop the violence. You can get help.
If you feel unsafe while you’re looking at this website…
On every page of The Hideout you will see a button that says Hide my visit. When you click on this button another web page will immediately appear on the screen, so that no one can see that you were actually visiting The Hideout. You can use this button at any time if you feel unsafe while visiting The Hideout, for example if someone walks into the room and you do not want them to know about what you’re reading. If you want to return to The Hideout at any time, just click on the 'Back' button at the top of your computer screen.
How to cover your tracks…
Once you’ve left the computer, other people, for example your parents, can check what websites you’ve visited. If you don’t want anyone to know you’ve visited The Hideout, you can follow these instructions to erase your tracks. Also, make sure that you don’t add the website address for The Hideout to your bookmarks. Websites that you have visited are stored on your computer as 'temporary internet files' and 'cookies'. In order to cover your tracks you need to delete these files. You will also need to clear the 'history log', which has links to the websites you have been visiting.
1. When you're on the internet, go to the menu bar at the top of your computer. Click on 'Tools'.
2. Go to the bottom of the dropdown menu and click on 'Internet options'.
3. An Internet Options page will appear. In the middle is a button named 'Delete cookies'. Click on this, and when the pop up appears, click 'OK'.
4. In the middle is also a button named 'Delete files' - click on this.
4. When the pop up appears after clicking on this button, make sure you click on the 'Delete all offline content' box and then click 'OK'.
7. At the bottom of the 'Internet options' page is a button named 'Clear history'. Click on this.
8. A box will pop up asking you if you want to delete all items in your history folder. Click 'Yes'.
9. To finish, click the 'OK' button right at the bottom of the page.
You should now Restart or Shut down your computer. Once you have done this you have covered your tracks. Do this each time you visit us and no-one need ever know you have been here. In The Hideout you will find many links that will take you to other websites. Please consider your safety when visiting these sites and follow the same instructions to cover your tracks.
Printing pages…
When you print things from The Hideout, make sure you keep them in a safe place where the abuser won’t discover them. Putting them in your school bag or in your trousers, where it might end up in the washing up pile, is not always safe. Think of a place where your parent will not find the information.
Phoning helplines…
Some helpline numbers will be listed on your phone bill. If you’re worried about this then make sure you call from a friend’s phone or a phone box. Also, remember that when you hang up the phone anyone can pick up the phone, press ‘redial’ and be connected to the same number you were just calling. If you don’t want anyone to know which number you called, just dial another number after you hang up.
Emailing links to friends…
You might think that one of your friends would find the information in The Hideout, or any of the other websites, useful. Make sure you check with them before you email them the link, to make sure that it’s safe to send them this information via email.